A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess.
For example: "The deal breaker was that he was married with kids and I don't condone adultery."
On the way to my evening shift (wink), I started thinking about stupid things guys have said to me over the years. And there have been many - guys and stupid things they've said. Of course, now when I look back, I keep asking myself "What the hell was I thinking??" but at the time, "love/like is blind" totally rang true and also, I was an eejit. Let's hope I don't make the same mistakes again.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Okay, that doesn't apply because this is ALL true but let's hope the guys I'm quoting don't ever see this :D And in no particular order, here goes:
"Asian girls are so sexy. It was after you that I only want to date Asian girls now." And for that, I am deeply sorry to my Asian sisters.
Me: How old are you?
Him: 21 *Looks shifty eyed*
He was 18. Thank you Facebook.
"Feminism, eh? So, all that manhating and stuff?" No, feminists don't hate men but they probably just hate you.
Him: How about you? What music are you listening to these days?
Me: A lot of Lauryn Hill
Him: That's SO OLD!! (with disdain)
"Can I keep my weed in your freezer?" *Takes out a bag of weed the size of my fist*
"You must've had so much Japanese food there!"
and
"The Japanese food here probably doesn't even compare to the food back there."
He was right, the Japanese food in Hong Kong is much better than Toronto but homie, Hong Kong ain't Japan.
"I used to date girls that looked like import models, y'know, Asian girls with blonde hair." Awesome.
Me: Who would your ideal girl be in terms of race?
Him: Probably a white girl.
Er, not the right thing to say to your Chinese girlfriend.
"I don't read books, I only like reading things with pictures, like magazines."
"I don't really have friends." For good reason.
"I live in my parents' basement. It's pretty sweet. I don't mind it." Not knocking on all guys who live at home but when he says it's "pretty sweet," he sure as hell ain't movin' out. Ever.
"I pretty much leave my ex-girlfriends in shambles." I know, shoulda ran for the hills.
"I hate this 9 to 5 shit. I don't like this grown up stuff." You're 33. You OLD. And have been a waiter for the last 8 years. Suck it up biznatch.
"My name is Trigger." Okay, this was a deal breaker.
Then he added "I'm a rapper."
"I don't think I really need to finish school, I've gotten so far in my life without a degree." Said the recently laid off ex-drug dealer.
And I quote, directly from an e-mail:
"Your other questions after that.....that I can talk a lot about, but since I'm not going to re-read at this point, I'll just touch on maybe most of your inquiries." This man thought he was God's gift to women. Too much love from his mother perhaps.
"I'm an investment banker." Complete generalization but 97% chance he's a douche.
7pm
*Me waiting for him to come over at 7pm just as he said he would.*
8pm
*Still taking his sweet time*
9pm
*Finally shows up when free parking starts*
(While reluctantly webcamming, on my part, for the first time without having met in real life before)
"Wanna see my underwear?"
"Man, highways are awesome!! They're so much faster than local roads." After having lived in Toronto his entire life and been driving for the last 7 years, he made a life-altering discovery.
There are SO many more, but these are the ones I could come up with off the top of my head. I need to write this shit down! Clearly, some of these soundbytes are more fresh in my mind. One would think that recounting all that would be embarrassing but now it's just funny and a tad depressing. Hope I've learned a thing or two over the last decade.
Before I sign off, I will leave you the worst/best one:
"I'm so fucked up/I'm so messed up/I'm a bad person"
Ladies, when a guy openly admits this and says it over and over and over again, BELIEVE IT and don't try to fix him. Lesson learned.
Payce.
On the way to my evening shift (wink), I started thinking about stupid things guys have said to me over the years. And there have been many - guys and stupid things they've said. Of course, now when I look back, I keep asking myself "What the hell was I thinking??" but at the time, "love/like is blind" totally rang true and also, I was an eejit. Let's hope I don't make the same mistakes again.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Okay, that doesn't apply because this is ALL true but let's hope the guys I'm quoting don't ever see this :D And in no particular order, here goes:
"Asian girls are so sexy. It was after you that I only want to date Asian girls now." And for that, I am deeply sorry to my Asian sisters.
Me: How old are you?
Him: 21 *Looks shifty eyed*
He was 18. Thank you Facebook.
"Feminism, eh? So, all that manhating and stuff?" No, feminists don't hate men but they probably just hate you.
Him: How about you? What music are you listening to these days?
Me: A lot of Lauryn Hill
Him: That's SO OLD!! (with disdain)
"Can I keep my weed in your freezer?" *Takes out a bag of weed the size of my fist*
"You must've had so much Japanese food there!"
and
"The Japanese food here probably doesn't even compare to the food back there."
He was right, the Japanese food in Hong Kong is much better than Toronto but homie, Hong Kong ain't Japan.
"I used to date girls that looked like import models, y'know, Asian girls with blonde hair." Awesome.
Me: Who would your ideal girl be in terms of race?
Him: Probably a white girl.
Er, not the right thing to say to your Chinese girlfriend.
"I don't read books, I only like reading things with pictures, like magazines."
"I don't really have friends." For good reason.
"I live in my parents' basement. It's pretty sweet. I don't mind it." Not knocking on all guys who live at home but when he says it's "pretty sweet," he sure as hell ain't movin' out. Ever.
"I pretty much leave my ex-girlfriends in shambles." I know, shoulda ran for the hills.
"I hate this 9 to 5 shit. I don't like this grown up stuff." You're 33. You OLD. And have been a waiter for the last 8 years. Suck it up biznatch.
"My name is Trigger." Okay, this was a deal breaker.
Then he added "I'm a rapper."
"I don't think I really need to finish school, I've gotten so far in my life without a degree." Said the recently laid off ex-drug dealer.
And I quote, directly from an e-mail:
"Your other questions after that.....that I can talk a lot about, but since I'm not going to re-read at this point, I'll just touch on maybe most of your inquiries." This man thought he was God's gift to women. Too much love from his mother perhaps.
"I'm an investment banker." Complete generalization but 97% chance he's a douche.
7pm
*Me waiting for him to come over at 7pm just as he said he would.*
8pm
*Still taking his sweet time*
9pm
*Finally shows up when free parking starts*
(While reluctantly webcamming, on my part, for the first time without having met in real life before)
"Wanna see my underwear?"
"Man, highways are awesome!! They're so much faster than local roads." After having lived in Toronto his entire life and been driving for the last 7 years, he made a life-altering discovery.
There are SO many more, but these are the ones I could come up with off the top of my head. I need to write this shit down! Clearly, some of these soundbytes are more fresh in my mind. One would think that recounting all that would be embarrassing but now it's just funny and a tad depressing. Hope I've learned a thing or two over the last decade.
Before I sign off, I will leave you the worst/best one:
"I'm so fucked up/I'm so messed up/I'm a bad person"
Ladies, when a guy openly admits this and says it over and over and over again, BELIEVE IT and don't try to fix him. Lesson learned.
Payce.
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1 comment:
Blonde asian girls are skeezy. Just sayin'.
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